Future-ism

I've seen the future lately, different versions of it. I saw how I became the man I've always wanted to be. Able to achieve everything. Then I wake up, and feel numb and dizzy, the reality appears, I'm exactly the same as yesterday. Bugger.

No more -isms

September arrives, hit me in the head like an ox... Tired of the same excuses, the same damn cycles, I decided to ignore them for a change. Some say despair is sexy... I must look so hot right now... I grown five years in the last 4 days. Everybody else just seemed to stay in the same place, I could see their movements, in slow motion, as if the earth is not moving any longer... I felt like I couldn't run anymore, and the slowliness was catching me. That I would be like them, my flame would run out of oxygen and fade, only a shadow of it former self. I felt the weight of my sins and mistakes, all the years of living light... got to my core? I always thought it was another game, another game that I'm good at it...

heroism

I woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, woke up abruptly, it wasn't a nightmare but a very intense dream. I felt like I had a higher sense of things, it was like I understood something that I didn't before.

I realized that when I woke up, I was stronger, faster and more determine than ever, I was in that mindstate that I couldn't get for so long, that mindstate where you focus only in what you need to do to accomplish your goals and you just execute it perfectly.

I felt like if I could break boulders with my bear hands and take down Kasparov in chess. I felt like if I run, no one would catch me. It was a good feeling, I;ll save it in my heart, within a small box right next to where I keep bottled love; I'll save it for a better place, and when its time, the box will be unlocked, and it will take me where I want to be.

Seetherism

As beautiful as fire against the evening sky...
pure and weak, I suffer when I sleep
Cleansed of me I suffer when I dream
I want you to stay
You take the pain away
Want you to stay
I need you here to keep me sane ...

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Humanism

I feel... human (that's not good in my book) by that I'm not trying to say that I'm not, or that being human is bad, its just that feeling human to me is to be aware of just how imperfect you are, how weak you actually are, the many, many flaws that you have, and of course the amazing amount of mistakes that we all have made. So what I'm trying to say is, being human is great, life is beautiful, but FEELING human terrible. When we do something, well, at least when we do something right, we stop thinking about ourselves, about your shortcoming and you just do it. Without your mind, in a zen-like moment, I don't know if you know what I'm writting about, but when you experience that, the hability of performing at your best, when you enter that trance, in which you see what you need to do next, and block everything else, the whole outside wall and your mind becomes a fortress... you know that there is path, a better path for doing everything you do, and if you don't walk that path everytime, you feel ridiculious, mediocre, you feel... human.

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Playlist

Before I forget
I'm so sick

Survivalism

Feb is gone, a mild victory I might dare to say. The elements require to fulfill my plan are at lineup. Bittersweet feelings, keeping the eyes on the prize. The plan is working. A lot to say lately, just not enough time to write it, isn't that a shame, all of this calluse words wasting...

Immortalitism

hahaha cool word.

I'm here my beloved readers... claiming my place as God's favourite, whether I like it or not. Bending the Universe at my will, slowly but surely. I thank for what I've got every day, so I don't get distracted in what I don't have; besides it gets me in the right state of mind, the state of love and trust as Eddie Vedder so wisely described it.

So I'm here, loving and trusting the things that matter. The rest will be revealed in the appropiate time. The steps of this hero's path I don't need to know, I only need to see my next step.

Positivism!

I'm so fineeee, feel so great! Having fun in what I do. Feels so fine. My shit is together! Positivism is my way of life!

Uncertainism

haha, the last couple of days have been so out of character... feel pretty bad about everything?! Need a few days to get my shit together and continue my happy and very uncertain way. Everything is good, Everyone is fine... I just want more. ;)

I miss my old careless me.

Secretism

The Secret of the Universe has been revealed! Live will be incredible from now on! Enjoy it.

Personalitism

The path might be clear... But are you walking in it for the right reasons? Maybe someday you will join us.

My personality might be very shocking if you don't get what I mean. Very hard to read between lines.

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Top 3 Oasis

Oasis - Stop Crying your heart out
Oasis - She's Electric
Oasis - Hey now

workoholicism

16 hours per day working two full-time jobs... Fun, eh?

So many goals, different approaches on how to do things. This seems to be one of them, kill your social life for a chance of a future. Focus and prosper. Too much things to do right now. Music running around in my head... That's whats keeping going.

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Straight Out of line - Godsmack
The Outsider - APC
Eat you Alive - Limp Bizkit

Newyearism

And here we are... With all the hopes and dreams that new year delivers with such devotion... I wonder how much it remains by march... probably not as much as we wish... I love how the blunt and the ignorant use newyear as a wishlist... hoping that with mininum effort and zero planification it can all come true; because, after all is newyear and you have the whoooooleeee year to fullfill it. But what I really love is how costaricans face their debts in January... by pawning Xmas presents... only in this godforgotten place... priceless. OMG T_T.

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Ok ok... Top 3 of this entry

What If - Creed
Defy You - Offspring
Once - Pearl Jam